paul

those of you who have known me for a long time know that i lost my best friend paul many years ago. last sunday marked 18 years since he has been gone. seriously? how has it been 18 years already? sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday and i can still remember every detail of the day i found out and the days to follow. i always think of him when march 14th comes around, but for some reason or another, it hit me hard this year. i know it's just part of the healing process. i had a rough night a couple of days before his anniversary. i am sad that i can't really remember what his voice sounds like. and the selfish part of me just wishes that i could have him back. he was my first love and there will always be a special place in my heart for him. i am thankful that god allowed him to be in my life in such a huge way. and i am so lucky that god placed him in my life and i wouldn't take it back for anything. can't wait to see you paul!

this is one of my favorite pictures of him. he took it for me and said that he tried to look like a model for me. :-) enscribed on the back of it, it says, "To my one and only!"